You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
