who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
