I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
