Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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