we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
