The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
