Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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