I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
