Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize