I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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