I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize