Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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