I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
