i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
