I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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