time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
