now i know why i became what i already was.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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