For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
