that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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