idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize