i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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