she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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