M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
