just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
