u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
