What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
