Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize