It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
