No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
