My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
