You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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