The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
