dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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