Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
