Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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