How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
