so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
