Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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