When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
