look no pants
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
3 2 1 whiskey
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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