drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
