Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
