Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
