i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
