Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have already put on my inside pants.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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