he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
