Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
