please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
