when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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