i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
