Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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