Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sarcasm needs its own font
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let's paint friendship bongs
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
