It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
