i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
