OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
