she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
