Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
