We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
