I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize