After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
