No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
