According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
